Tired.

Hi there, it’s been a while.

I apologize for my disappearance. My mother-in-law passed away at the end of September, two weeks after our visit. The day we arrived in Kansas City for her memorial, we learned that one of my brothers-in-law had been in a horrible car accident; he died a few hours after we first heard the news. So, as you can imagine, my family went into crisis mode. So much sadness. We wound up having to spend extra time in KC to make sense of things.

The good news is that we were able to be with Brian’s family (Brian is my husband – FYI). He was the one to tell his father about Richard, his eldest son. We were able to grieve with people who knew his brother and his mother. And, we got to see friends who had no qualms with swooping in and taking care of us.

I will say this: Trying to find a hotel in KC on the same weekend as a NASCAR race, The American Royal, a K-State/Iowa State game, and …hell, something else, well, it’s near impossible.

At this point, I’m horribly behind in school. I’ve been avoiding it because I’m so scared about the ramifications of a ruined semester. Have I mentioned I have an anxiety disorder? Welcome to my unfunny post. I have a very severe anxiety disorder. So, crisis upon crisis upon anxiety = paralysis. It stinks. Merely writing this entry today was my first step toward getting things back on track. I was afraid even to log in, as ridiculous as that sounds.

But, I did log in today, so that absolutely counts for something. My husband and my daughter are both OK, which also counts for something. The car that appeared to have broken down on Saturday when it was stupid cold is not going to require thousands of dollars in repair – also good. And people are nice. The kindness and generosity that has poured out to my family since all this fell into our lap two weeks ago has been astounding. So, if you’re reading this and happened to have been a part of all that kindness and generosity – thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Keep throwing good thoughts this way – we need them.

Next step is to salvage my fall semester. Wish me luck.

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Careful What You Wish For

Ooh dear. As I mentioned in my previous post, since I wasn’t enrolled in any English courses last week, I went ahead and waitlisted myself in five classes with the hopes that one would open. Last week, I believe my hold positions were as follows: 5, 7, 8, 11, and 13. Now, one instructor made it clear in his announcements that if we were waitlisted, we probably shouldn’t hold our breath, because he didn’t foresee many openings becoming available. No sweat – #13 dropped from the list. Fast forward to today. I’ve now been enrolled in two of the waitlisted classes, and the two remaining courses have me positioned as #4 and #5, respectively.

My intention was to enroll in only six hours per semester. Now, with the two English courses I’ve snagged, in addition to the Philosophy course I’ve been enrolled in all along, I’m in nine hours. And I want to take all of them! Argh.

This morning, I dropped another one of the waitlisted classes, because I knew if I wound up enrolled in it, I would have a hard time dropping it later. There are SO MANY classes that appeal to me, which is a good problem to have, all things considered.

So now, I’m in nine hours, I’m still waitlisted for one more class that I need to take in order to conquer one of my more major prerequisites, and I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to balance all of it.

And in unrelated news, yesterday I walked directly into a wall in front of a whole slew of coworkers. Slammed my face right into it. Sleep deprivation is awesome.

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